Insults, Nitpicking and Hating on Our Sisters

A few days ago, a FaceBook friend posted a picture of Kate Gosselin walking the red carpet. I’m not a follower of Kate’s show or escapades but she’s a beautiful woman. Heck, if I had that kind of body after having one, let alone the 6 or 7 or however many kids she’s birthed, I would be strutting everywhere in a string bikini. Upon loading FB later, I saw the same post with a huge list of comments like “She’s ugly inside” and “She paid for that body.” Now, I don’t know Kate Gosselin. She may very well be “ugly on the inside” but I’m betting none of those women (oh, yeah, did I mention the comments were all from women?) have met her either. So why the hate?

I abhor stereotypes, but by-and-large, women seem to choose insults and nitpicking when they feel inadequate or lack confidence. To be totally honest, I’ve done the same. And to be even more honest, it wasn’t until the last few years that I’ve stopped hating women. What have I hated? The cattiness, infighting and struggles to gain superiority for no particular reason other than to hurt or “put her in her place.” It was the ultrasound that revealed Zoey’s sex that began to change me. I don’t hate women now. I don’t like a whole boatload of them but I don’t hate women. They are struggling the same way I am…some just use a poor arsenal.

The moment the sonogram tech saw “girl parts,” my focus changed from what I hate to what I need to teach a future woman. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I am not confident in my looks. Textbook-wise, I should be a Barbie or Victoria’s Secret model (tall, busty, blond, thin…in my adult years) but somehow it didn’t all translate like that. Oh well. I’m kind of past all that at this point. I need to be a strong woman who appreciates herself AND other women so that my daughter will grow up to be a strong woman (which should be the textbook definition of “gorgeous”).

I realized the other day that I toss out compliments all the time. If I had a nickel for the number of times I’ve posted “You are beautiful!” on a FaceBook comment, I’d be wealthy. But I MEAN IT! I’m (almost) past trying to compare myself to others and I am past putting down others to bolster my confidence. I started this for my daughter but it’s made me feel so much better about women and about myself.

Before I close, let me tell you…You Are Beautiful!