Well, lookee who showed back up. Yes, it’s been a while friends. We’re finally over the move and the surgery and all that “life” stuff that tends to make us crazy and a little dramatic. Well, by “us” I mean me. Anyway, we’ve hit the two-month mark here in Texas. I’m not going to lie. I’m not a huge fan of Texas. It intrigues me in the same way a Petri dish of microorganisms intrigues me. I think it’s very interesting to study, yet I’m not sure I want any of it infecting me. The real kicker? My entire neighborhood thinks I use a Cricut and sew and can food all day. I see where that idea comes from…mainly because I’ve been using a Cricut and sewing and canning food all day since I got here.
So where am I going with this? Well, you see I think I’ve been given a really interesting chance. Remember when I said that I was trying to find myself back in January when I started this blog? (And it actually all started a year ago when I lost my first baby.) Well, I’ve tried a new personality. I was given the opportunity to move someplace where no one knows me. I had a brand new canvas. You know how George Bailey got to see what life would be like without him? I’ve been able to see what life would be like if I was just like all those other moms who I hold in such high esteem. The ones who I see walking their children down the street and think “Gee, I wish I was like that. What’s wrong with me?”
You know what I have realized? I’m okay. I may be a bit shallow. I may be driven. I may be a flawed mom. But, then again, I’m raising a pretty cool kid and I actually liked my life a lot before I tried this domesticated role. And I do realize how I may come off by even saying this. I really don’t care. The fact is that it’s good to try new things, and if you realize you hate them, then you don’t have to continue. And I also might be saying that I’m really good at affecting new personalities. Should I be freaked out by that? I’m not sure.
Life is so freaking short. I don’t know if anyone will read this or if anyone is in that “searching for self” mode like I’ve been. Let me just say that a major change isn’t always the answer. Sometimes it’s just a matter of saying “I’m flawed but I’m okay with that” and accepting that you may not be as wrong or as weird as you fear. Someone wise…a Brady Bunch kid maybe(?)…said “wherever you go, there you are.” Well, wherever you go, there you are and maybe you are just absolutely fine in whatever way you arrived.